An article of mine was published in Brain Child Magazine, “I No Longer Do It All — And I’m Happy!”, about the moment I quit “Type A Mom”. With that transition came growth, self awareness, and emotions of parenting that were above me – a feeling that I wasn’t in this alone. It even led our family to our amazing and wonderful path to homeschooling.
I couldn’t “do” parenting the way I had envisioned so differently from my childhood. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted to provide perfection. I wanted to do it by-the-book. The problem? There is no book. And, there is absolutely no such thing as perfection.
There. I quit Type-A parenting, I attended Church on Sunday’s, and my children were attending a Christian school. Life, parenting, would fall perfectly into place as my rule following self thought. Until it didn’t.
We had always attended Church but never really had God in the center of our home. I thought we did, but we didn’t. We didn’t involve Him in our daily decisions nor in our children’s activities or education. We ultimately didn’t have trust. We didn’t have faith the way we thought we did.
We are so grateful for the years at a local private Christian school. It was the 3 days on campus, 2 days off that gave me the confidence to take the leap into homeschooling full-time. However, after a few years, we noticed while one daughter wasn’t fulfilled academically, our other daughter was struggling to keep up. On top of balancing my part-time publishing job and being at home with the kids, what the heck is going on with baby # 3? He is supposed to be full of go-with-the-flow bliss. Well, he comes with a heaping dose of energy and WHY DOESN’T HE NAP?!
So maybe I didn’t have this Type B thing figured out either. Or maybe, the problem isn’t a more laid back approach to parenting. Maybe it was that I am still trying to figure this out on my own.
I will never forget the day I made the official post on Instagram that our family was going to homeschool. Our parenting, our family’s life, was taken to a new level. It was a journey that we would embark for years to come. Our homeschooling journey has been one that will forever be looked at in our family as a time in our lives of peace, travel, freedom, stress, crying, love, but above all.. growth. Our family’s roots are deep in the ground in our love, but most importantly, our faith.
Homeschooling was beautiful.. until it wasn’t. We had always agreed that we will homeschool our kids until it no longer glorifies God. Our curriculum was top notch. Our travel and children’s activities made jaws drop. We even moved to the country, with a picture perfect creek out our back door. Life was absolutely perfect. So why wasn’t it anymore?
I felt the shift. And I saw the shift. But I refused to accept it. I. LOVED. OUR. LIFE.. I LOVE HOMESCHOOLING! As I stood on the stairs one day looking at my two beautiful girls (who love homeschooling) and realized they were at a different path in their lives than 5 years ago, I knew exactly what needed to happen. But, I kept thinking we’ll get through this bump in the road. We had before. Then, I remembered 5 years ago when we hit the same bump in the road while my girls were at their Christian school. I knew I needed to pray. I needed to be silent and wait. Pray and wait. Our family has a plan. If only I could find that secret safe that holds the blue prints for it, I would just know what to do. But I guess that’s not how things work. In fact, I have found that our wonderful and amazing God tends to have a sense of humor – I make him laugh by telling him my plans.
Our family has something even bigger for us and our community that we can imagine. Was it to transition back to their private school? Was it to change up the homeschool curriculum? Because it surely wasn’t to enroll them in public school. I should have remembered that sense of humor.
I listened. And when I got our answer, I was at the same peace and comfort I was 5 years ago in our big life transition. Our children will be integrated in the public school system with the families and children of this community that we have longed to be a part of. We were beginning our next journey – our journey from transitioning into full-time homeschoolers into our local public school system.
When we announced our next year’s plans of integrating our kids into the public school system, one of our neighbor’s cried because, “That’s who Jamie is.” She’s “THE” homeschooling mom. Talking about a slap in the face to my high school self reality check – I’m, “the homeschooling mom”? That was a moment torn between a feeling of accomplishment and laughter.
Now, it’s time to obey and trust. I have faith that God has control and I can give it up. I can allow him to do the beautiful work in my children that I have seen in the last 5 years. Our family has taught, and will continue, to teach to our children’s hearts. The rest will fall into place.
We are excited for our next journey of ups and downs, drama, crying, laughter, and new friendships. My children have so much of God’s love in their hearts to share with children who have yet to experience his Grace and his Mercy.
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